I've complained about results. I've complained about studies. I've complained about school. But if you know me, I'm pretty much a good student. And I've pretty much enjoyed learning, all the way till JC.

Since when was it that studying became a chore, and studying became centered around GPA, and studying became a competition to see who ultimately wins. Since when was it that friends who fought along with you one day can turn into strangers who refused you notes the next day? (Not me, but speaking from some of my friend's experience)

I've never really hated studying. But I've never been so indifferent about it before too. I'm so so sick of studying now, I wouldn't say hate, but I just procrastinate and try my best to avoid it as much as possible. I rarely get modules that I'm interested in, maybe because I chose the wrong course from the start, maybe because I didn't even bother putting in the effort to try to like the modules. But when I do get some (like Risk Insurance last semester), I really do go all out, read the thick text which suddenly seemed so lovely. And that should be the joy of learning.

There are many things that I really wanna do right now, but sadly, studying is not one of it. Maybe it's a phase, maybe it will pass, maybe a year or even a month after working, I will miss studying like mad. But currently, I really want to travel. I want to meet people without having to talk about school and how projects are taking up all my time. But because I'm a student, I can't do all these. I don't have the luxury of time. I don't have the income either, in fact I have a mountain of debt to clear.

Once I start working, I can go get a new hair change whenever I want without thinking of how it's gonna burn a huge hole in my pocket (which probably will never mend if I'm a student with no income). It's irritating  to wait to save up for it, and by the time you do, the initial hype dies off.

But I'm glad. In a month more, I'll be preparing for the arrival of my exams. In 1.5 months more, I will be done with school. I would be screaming 'GRADUATIONNNNNNNNNNNN' all over the place. 

Best of all, I will be back in Seoul, Korea.

C.A.N.T.  W.A.I.T.