It's a gloomy day today. Or rather, it has been gloomy for the past few days.

Things I really wanna do on gloomy days:

1) Lie on my bed all day long

2) Skip school

Unfortunately, both of which, could not be done (often).

And today is such a day, whereby I just wanna do nothing all day. If there is anything I would want to do, it is flipping through old chatlogs and diaries, and laughing over how stupid I sound in the past. Today, I decided to re-read some past MSN chatlogs with a friend. MSN, lol funny it doesn't even exist now. I kind of miss it.

So here goes... J was a good friend of mine. Important word here is "was". We used to talk so well and something it all vanished. Because I said the wrong thing. I am saying this once and for all: I CANNOT KEEP SECRETS FOR NUTS. It has since improved a lot a lot, but I still think I suck at keeping secrets.

We all had times whereby we were wrong. Whereby we made mistakes, which we regret, up till now. Losing J as a good friend was one of my biggest regrets. It wasn't that we drifted apart or anything. It was because I misplaced the trust J had in me, and that was so within my control, but I did not manage to control it.

I still see J once in a while. We are still friends. Just... kind of distant. But I cannot forget that pair of eyes, and those disappointment that I saw. But that hit me deeply. And that made me grow, and know that when we make a promise, we jolly well honour it. A lot has changed, and sometimes I wish, if I have worked harder these days, I might have been able to bridge the gap between us.

But my point is... so much time has passed. I have come to realise that some good things are meant to be reminisced, and that sometimes it is better to just let things be. It is not an excuse to not patch things up. It is more like, I have come to the realisation that, even if we both have the intention to bring back our friendship again, it will never be the same again. Some people are just meant to be a thing of the past, and we have gradually grown so far and so apart, it is better to move on.

To J, thank you for always bringing out the best in me (at least in the past).

And ending off with a phrase I LOL-ed at when I saw: "Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions." HAHAHAH