20100228
♥
Haven't updated for some time. Gosh I really admire Lissya for updating her blog so often. (See teachers are slack jobs HAHA kidding I know teachers are hard to be.)
The past week has been hectic, too many things for me to do. I'm ending my job there in a few days' time so I had to finish up as much things as I can, I cannot leave things hanging there right. It's so irresponsible luh! I'm a responsible girl.
Anyway last Saturday we had CNY gathering at Mrs Poon's house. First time I won money from gambling :D Haha luck has been pretty good recently. And I hope it continues to be good so that when I get my A's results, it will be awesome! :D I know I told Ms Khoo straight As haha, but I know it's kind of impossible. But nevertheless, I still have high expectations, hoping I will do as well as possible.
Have been having some dreams recently, which aren't good! Dreamt that I did rather badly for A's and then dreamt that whoever not quarrelled with me. Blah blah blah. And I haven't been having good sleeps I guess 'cause I always wake up really tired the next day. I don't think I sleepwalk or something right?
Had creppe with Spins on Friday night. It's our little private date haha and finally, I ate the creppes! Not too bad, I kind of like it. Funniest thing is that we almost had to stay back to wash the dishes because we didn't have enough cash! Okay I admit we spent quite a lot, like slightly over 50 for two people but also because we assume that we can use NETS. And there was no nearby ATM so yeah luckily we had enough coins so yeah we managed to scrape past. PHEW!
I can't remember what. Anyway, point is, I do like my colleagues and they treat me well maybe cause I'm once again the youngest there. But the job is really not suited for me. But whatever the case, I'm thankful for them. Not just the cakes and little tidbits they presented me with every now and then, or the lunch treat on Thursday and Friday afternoons, but because they sincerely treat me well. Hopefully, my colleagues at my new workplace will be nice too!
But... given that I always have bad luck with jobs as in I always take forever to find a job, it's unlikely that I will find one soon. But anyway, just keep a lookout for me luh.
A's results is coming out. I'm really nervous. Wish me luck! I really need it.
20100215
♥ We should be honest.
I think we should all be more honest with ourselves. I don't mean to say that everyone is lying. But what I want to say is that I think we are all making excuses and telling ourselves that all the excuses we've come up with is true. Because... there are all sorts of reasons luh.
Lying is hard. You've to come up with endless lies to cover up the first. Few days later, you might expose your own lie because you forgot that you lied about it and you leaked the secret out.
Yesterday was a new year, lunar new year. But it doesn't matter, it's still a new year. So maybe I will change. Maybe I should stop giving excuses.
I saw you online. But I didn't talk to you. Haha this sounds like some facebook group ah. Okay I admit that this isn't about face, pride and only part of the reason (a very small part) is what I've said previously - you doubt I treat our friendship seriously. It's mostly because I'm too afraid to talk. I just realised it today. I think I've been telling myself all those crap to make me believe it but it suddenly dawned on me that these few months that we didn't talk and when I wanted to talk to you again, I'm too scared to do so. A lot of whatifs, what if you really stop caring, what if that's really the end, what if you've already moved on, what if you still doubt that I treasure our friendship. Too many uncertainties.
But I really tried but I still can't bring myself to talk to you. Too many whatifs, and the reason is because you're of no less importance to me than Gwen, Lissya and clique. Maybe staying like this is better right. That's why I'm waiting for you to speak up first, because you can clear the air of all the doubts and the whatifs.
Anyway, I got this from Lissya's blog. Really emo but true I thought. Time doesn't erase anything. People erase things, people erase memories. How enlightening. We always say that time erases everything so we slowly waited for time to pass. Sometimes, after years, you can look back and realise nothing has changed at all. Because you are not willing to let it go. People determine what has to go, and what has to stay.
Oh, and I don't like CNY because I hate entertaining adults. I think I just cannot communicate with them. Thank gawd, CNY is almost over. But boohoos to end of break soon! ):
20100213
♥ It must come from deep within.
Besides working, I've been hooked on some dramas. Best thing about not studying: you don't have to push aside enjoyment for work (either real work or homework). This drama, Autumn's Concerto, has awesome storyline coupled with awesome songs, which makes me drop a tear or two everytime the song plays. And the song lingers in my head every now and then. Maybe I will post all the lyrics up, but first up I thought this lyrics is awesome.
我以为我的温柔 能给你整个宇宙
我以为我能全力 填满你感情的缺口
专心陪在你左右 弥补他一切的错
也许
我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生
他让你红了眼眶 你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好 你要留在谁的身旁
我以为我够坚强 却一天天的失望
少给我一点希望 希望就不是奢望
Just the chorus first, I'm rushing to eat steamboat reunion dinner!
Ah, to summarize up the week, I sincerely felt that despite boring work, my colleagues are nice and I at least can get along with them. Both my previous and current managers can bake well too (: And everyone treats me like a little girl haha.
Wednesday I met up with Steph Lilin and Peisi. Short meetup without much photos and stuff, but seeing the same old faces makes me realise that despite everything, I'm really glad for all those who's around me no matter what. Same for the meetup with Gwen Hwarng. Awesome frozen yogurt (:
Thursday I went shopping alone after work because I wanted to get a pair of heels and a bag for CNY. Of course I left home with two big bags and yeah I realise that shopping alone can be fun too. At least I need not wait for people or stop at shops that doesn't interest me.
Something that upsets me recently. I don't understand why people can be not appreciative. I ask Gwen to buy, and I got the senior dancers to share, gifts for our dancers juniors. Although we're not physically around, but we want to let them know we still love them no matter what. But till today, I've yet to receive any 'thankyou' from anyone of course unless I ask them about it. Dancers, if you've read this post and decided to thank us, let me tell you, 'thankyous' are not worth anything if people had to remind you to say thanks. I know our era is over, we may not be as important but I think no matter what, be appreciative that seniors take time to come down, that we take effort to get you guys gift, because all these are not a must.
I know some of you may go 'Aww, so sweet' but all these don't travel to our ears through the air. Sometimes, just a simple thanks can make someone's day, though when we do smth, we don't expect to receive anything in return.
My heart sank a little everytime I try to show concern but the other party doesn't seem to acknowledge it. But looking back, I'm still glad for all the little notes and gifts that juniors presented us with before exams and everything. Maybe we should really just move on and realise that time flies too fast for us to stop and catch hold of it.
Happy CNY! (: I look forward to K session and Mrs Poon's house CNY gathering :D
P.S. I saw this on Elin's nick, thought it's kinda cool. S[he] Be[li]ev[ed] - She believed, he lied.
20100205
♥ From different perspectives.
When you're tired mentally and physically, you stop caring.
I'm too tired out from work everyday that I do not care about being a pig or not, I sleep at 10plus everyday. I get tired in the morning during work and yawn non-stop, I stop caring about whether my breath will stink or not, I drink coffee everyday.
Work is making me tired, though I'm earning money. I wonder how I cope with more work. Like how I wanna take up tuition to get more income, and maybe try to see if I like teaching, since I miss the chance to take up the MOE teaching internship. My friends have mostly enjoyed their teaching job, so I was thinking since I had the time now, why not give it a shot? But will I have energy to cope?
Oh yes I realise I will be seriously getting fat. By the way, lunchtime are no longer alone! :D Now Peisi works in the vicinity (soon) so we lunch together on Tuesday. And now that I've Yili (she's really nice) and Jenny (who's also equally nice), lunch is more fun now!
From another perspective, actually working here is not that bad too. The auntie brought cakes up for us as a tea break on Tuesday and Wednesday. My colleagues got me little sweets. I slacked now and then and I still get paid rather well. Maybe I will miss this place afterall though data entry is real boring.
Work reminds me of my ex colleagues, of which those I'm closer with, Kiat Vincy Jimmy Alvin Sam Kat blahblah. (: Brings back fond memories ah.
Eh but I will be jobless soon like in a month's time or two, so keep a lookout for jobs for me! Cause mine is just a temp job.
Oh and sometimes, I'll be happy just seeing how happy you guys are. (:
This week, I got closer with my colleagues. This week, I found reasons to smile out of a boring schedule of work. (:
