20100126
♥ Where do I start?
Sometimes, I have so much I want to say to you, but I don't know where to start.
Sometimes, not speaking does not mean not caring.
Sometimes, I do things that I don't really want to do.
If you ever read this, this isn't just yet another cold war that we are going through. How many cold wars, how many quarrels we had previously, but we always patched up? I read through my diary. I said, I'm glad for the recent quarrel because I felt that we are closer again. And I truly meant every word I say.
I don't ignore people just because we're in a war - I'm not that childish anymore. And it is nothing about pride and face and stuff. To me, a relationship of any sort requires effort from both parties - I've learnt these over the years. The previous time I did not speak to me, the reason was because I do not want to be the one giving in all the time. Sometimes, there might not be a clear right or wrong - we are equally at fault. And I felt that if I were to continue giving in, will you realise where you've gone wrong?
For this time, I'm utterly disappointed in you. However pessismistic and whatever not you are, you can doubt yourself, you can doubt the situation isn't going to turn any better, but you've no right to doubt that I do not treasure our friendship. And if this kind of doubt continues to persist, how do we continue on from here?
There are things I wouldn't tell you.
There are things I wish to tell you but do not know how to bring it across to you.
There are things that, somehow somewhat, I just cannot tell you.
Because the world does not only have you and me, I've to put into consideration the feelings of the people around us too.
But that does not mean that you mean little to me. All the 'you make me feel significant' things come from deep within my heart.
