20091204
♥ 放不下，该怎么继续走？
Yes, you're not wrong. Neither is Blogger spoilt. I'm blogging at 7:31am when everyone else is snoring away. Anyway I got to wake up earlier today at 8am and I just dreamt of something and I couldn't sleep anymore. So yeah.
Have you ever dreamt of the same dream before? I did, twice, thrice. It always started at the same place (as in time and venue) and ended at the same place. It's really a repeat, but sometimes, it's more detailed, sometimes it's more vague. No one can explain why dreams happen right? Today, I dreamt of the same person again. Different dreams, totally different dreams! But it's always about the same person.
Blog from here onwards will be in Chinese with a little bit of English once in a while. The reason why I came to blog was because I didn't want my mum to chance upon my diary and happen to read it. Sorry to those who don't understand Chinese. Don't bother using translator, the post is rather long.
放不下，该怎么继续走？我一直都在问我自己。看到别人有点情绪化时，我偶尔也会想到那些事。
今天又梦见他了。三个月以来的第三次。白天所想的事，夜里都会变成梦，是真的吗？那种很微妙的感觉，在梦里也感受到得很清楚。从来没有想过，好久好久的事还会一直纠缠着我。
有一首歌，它的歌词好有意义。“结束一段感情当然不像搬个家那么方便，太多细节太多碎片堆在回忆那间房间，但是忍耐一点不去碰它就不危险。”可是，有时候不小心触碰了一下，隐约的伤口就会痛了一会儿。
今天梦见了他。梦境真的好真实。那股席卷而来的情绪立刻缠绕着我。醒来时，发现枕头上有一滩泪。缩在那儿哭了挺久的。我也不知道最后那感觉怎么走了，可是真的好庆幸。三年了，不是都该抛到脑后了吗？留下的伤口有多深，痛就会留得多久吧。唯一值得一提的是，心并没有抽痛着，再深的伤至少还有个限度吧。
“哭过就好了，痛都会走的。记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的。”真的吗？希望是。可是已经隔了这么久了，几时它才会消失呢？
Out of sight, out of mind. May be out of sight, but why isn't the person out of my mind! With the person popping up in my dreams every now and then, and the same scenario in reality replaying over and over again, how do I forget?
我也有试着过敞开胸怀面对一切。没有用！是啊，我都还放不下，我怎么可能能走下去呢？还有好长好长的一段时间哦，不可能为他而白白浪费掉。但是有些事，我就是挥之不去，能怎样？有没有人有什么办法！
有看命中的人应该听过这句话。戏里，中山龙大师曾经说过：“如果你忘不掉过去，那就干脆不要忘记了。埋在心底里，做为你人生故事的一部分。” 一直以来我都这样认为的。可是最近才发现，不能忘，我不能继续走啊！
如果这篇?文章?对你来说有种识曾相似的感觉，有可能我说的就是你。不要感到内疚或抱歉。我心里的包袱，我自己会拿下来。有时不是做不到，而是潜意识地不想放弃。不要避开我，之后我们依然是朋友。
End of long post. A moment of emo-ness ha. Sometimes, we do feel it too, no matter how cheerful a person can get. Okay that's it. Bye!
P.S. : I feel so much better posting this out!
