20091101
♥ This is so wrong.
My mum is nagging me about using the computer. Ironically, the content is that she will not nag at me because its my own responsibility.
I know I know something's very wrong with me. I say I want to put in my best and stuff but I just cannot have that determination to study. And it's freaking hell 1 week from As. What is wrong with me seriously?
For this last one week,
- No more coming online and facebook-ing.
- No more watching unnecessary TV. (Actually I secretly think I am a TV addict. I really can watch TV the whole day even if the show isn't nice or something. What's more, there're a couple of nice shows coming up! And some repeated dramas. But why am I watching repeated dramas during the period of As?!)
- No more slacking and wasting time. (Even if I only have 15mins extra, I shall use it to memorize definitions.)
- No more drifting away (and never coming back) when studying.
- No more "I will wake up a bit later" and lazing around in bed and hence wasting my precious 1 hour. (Every hour is so important now.)
- No more "I will do that comprehension later". (Though I get irritated at the sight of GP.)
- No slacking around in school after/between/before consultations and I think I should bring my Comparative Advantage/Multiplier/Phy definitions/list of cheem words I've compiled for GP with me everyday, everywhere.
- No more wondering about what happens after As when I can't even be sure I can survive As.
- No more wasting time saying I want my straight As and not putting in effort to get it.
- No more "I think straight As are damn far from me" because I can do it.
- No more looking down on myself because malay dancers never fail.
I could go on saying a lot of no more, and as you can see, I've been procrastinating and refusing to accept the fact that As is just merely one week away and if I don't start studying now, I'm really dead! And I am not going to let my efforts go to waste like that. It has been such a torturous journey. I've done so much to turn my chemistry which was previously of U standard to what it was now. (Though my physics remains at E standard.)
All in all, I'll mug 12 hours 13 hours 14 hours, whatever it takes so to make up for the time I lost idling away for the last two / three weeks.
Seriously, what have I been doing?
I want to step into every examination hall feeling prepared and step out feeling confident that my A is secure.
The list of things I thought out for myself, I think I've yet to achieve anything yet.
URGH. BYE.
