20091130
♥ Where did all that excitement go?
End of A's. No excitement, nothing! Where did all that excitement go, I really want to know. The only conclusion I can come to is that I have slacked too much.
Today's paper was alright. I compared my answers with the Physics pros, Ningxin Stephanie and of course our awesome Nguyen Ha Minh Kurt. Alright, average about 30. Still alright luh. Let's skip this, it's all over anyway.
I met Kurt outside the dance studio. I went to take a look at my awesome juniors and was surprised to find Joycelyn there too haha! Yeah, the dance was close to perfection already! I'm so excited to see them! I've been missing dance and dancing a lot. So glad that I can come back everyday to bug them yay! (:
Oh got to go slack and stuff already. I've to start organising all those outings etc! (:
20091126
♥ -
People think a lot when they're bored. Of course I've muggings to do, but I'm not touching the notes till the weekend I guess.
So much to look forward to after A's. Let's look at my list of things to do and calendar.
30nov - Are you having a mini celebration? I'm actually just fine with going home and sleeping LOL.
1dec - I have a job interview but I don't want to go. I might just back out at the last minute.
2dec - Going back to help the dancers out with makeup! :D And going shopping with Lissya after that? YES OKAY SUWANDI! (:
3dec - Prom shopping with clique! :D
4dec - Happy birthday Cheryl Loh!
5dec - Bday celebration for Coach Rosie! If we can.
6dec - Little Javier's 1 year old birthday!
7dec - Grad night + overnight stay at the hotel? :DD
8dec - Freak one of the most important days in my life ever. Hope good news don't turn into bad news! :P
16-18dec - S21 chalet! (:
Other dates are so far unbooked yet. Let me know if you want to go out! Of course I have to schedule a date for these important people: Senior dancers' outing (which has been postponed for months), Shopping cum lunch with Sharon, Meetup with Sam Dear, meeting up with dearest Aubrey, catch up with ZB, oh and meetup with Zhanhao before he flies back to Aussie again and etc etc.
Oh ZB asks me along for wakeboarding! COOL :D Chai come along?! (: I've to see how and find a time before ZB enlists into NS. Gosh my ZB is going to evolve into a real man haha cool! :P
Oh yeah chanced upon a really cool song, sorry no translation again.
哭过就好了 伤都会好的
这样相信所以深呼吸着割舍
爱是为了拥抱 为了牵手
不是为了争吵 为了调头
哭过就好了 痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了
Some things, I can't forget. You know, you just cannot brush off things like that sometimes. I think it's good that I keep it deep within my heart, to acknowledge the fact that I've been through so much and have grown, a little each time.
And I find myself trying to turn back and hold on/grab whatever that has passed me. It feels so uneasy to just let things pass without trying to stop them. But actually, people come and go. Things happen for a reason. I should just move ahead right. Speaking of which, I should not look back at my previous disastrous papers and focus on my last MCQ right?
Alright, till then. (:
20091124
♥ Freedom is near!
Yeah freedom is near, I can feel it! :D
Though so, I still have to mug for my last (and the one which I always fail) Physics Paper 1. A's hasn't been smooth-sailing at all but it's all over soon. If I were to say I don't care, please say I'm lying because I obviously do care. But all I know is I've put in my best shot, I've nothing to regret and I'm going to enjoy my months of rest.
Was chatting with some people just now and I randomly thought of this.
放不下，该怎么继续走?
(For scholars and malays, it means if I am unable to let go, how am I going to move forward?) Yeah, how. I wonder. Maybe I will just naturally walk out of it haha.
Okay not supposed to be an emo/thought-provoking post. Just wanna say that I really see freedom waving to me and stuff.
Oh yeah got some good news I think but I don't want to broadcast to everyone. Ask me if you want to know haha.
20091120
♥ Mixed feelings.
I'm having mixed feelings about post A's. Yes, it means so much fun and stuff. Provided that exact same scenario won't happen again. Alright what crap scenario, it's long over.
Oh yes I wrote this in my diary on 28th August 2009, I think it makes a lot of sense. "Maybe 5 years is more than enough; enough neglectance etc, that YLW is losing importance in my heart real fast. Or I've grown up and realise that fantasies are really just fantasies and nothing more." Yes I've got over being crazy about YLW, it's good really. It feels so good to stop harrassing people LOL.
Oh oh this song has awesome lyrics. I think it won the best lyrics for the Singapore Hit Awards 2009 which I really wanted to go watch but have to study for A's. I will go next year! Anyway, opps, it's in Chinese. But how many Vietnamese and Malays still come here? Or rather, how many people still come here.
让风筝自由干脆剪断了线
让它往蓝天空 随风而飞
越飞越高直到看不见
像电影里的画面
这样也许能让我好过一些
把你当作风筝 随风而飞
越飞越高直到无所谓
我剪断了线 不再对你怀念
Meaningful song right. For those who don't understand Chinese, sorry I don't have time to translate. I got to end blogging and go sleep soon and wake up to mug tmr morning. Because I haven't finished my A's and everyone else seems to be enjoying life already.
Oh oh and I see my favourite dancers yesterday after Physics lesson. Although it was just a 5mins or so chat and I spent 2 or 3mins outside waving at people inside to open the door for me (I wonder if I'm too short and blocked or something) but seeing them just lift my spirit up and make me smile.
Hang in there people, A's is going to end soon! Oh oh did I say I want to be a bank teller?! Anyone has any ideas how I can be one? ):
20091113
♥ (:
Mugging hasn't been easy, obviously it hasn't. From the day of my previous post, I've been placing rather high expectations on myself to finish a lot of stuff everyday to make up for the loss of time during the past few weeks. Glad that it does help in one way or another.
Papers haven't been exceptionally easy, I really can't admit they are. No, it's not about being humble and saying that it's just alright or saying it's fine so that when you don't get your A you don't feel that embarrassed. Truthfully, Math Paper 1 definitely isn't classified under easy, though it wasn't that hard though. Luckily, today's Math Paper 2 was a lot better and it helped me feel more secure that my first A in this seating is achievable.
Secondly, GP is over now. I can't say I put in a lot of effort but at least I tried to make things better. Cramming 100plus words into my head, in hope that one or two will come out in vocabulary is kind of torturous because my brain feels like exploding. And sad to say, none of the words came out, but at least I know more words now. AQ was crap, I don't know what I was writing, and to think I wanted to not fail AQ again. (I can only look back at my 5.5/6 out of 8 marks AQ in two or three of previous exercises and grumble that I will never get anything near there for AQ this time round again, and that that is the best score I can ever get for AQ.) Basically, the writer seems to be repeating the points over and over again ( or is there something wrong with my intepretation.) GP essay is a kind of like crap too. I actually took the stand which no one took, without realizing that 'elimination' is an extreme word until after the paper, someone pointed it out to me. WTH to think I was actually thinking that it was one of the best pieces I wrote.
Chemistry paper 3 was okay. Thank gawd it was alright. The 6 marks which I am super uneasy of is correct, so now I am at least able to pass everything, some higher some lower. And I can at least get 50/80?! Though that's kind of like not A standard yet.
There will still be more papers. It's only 5 down, I've 7 more to go. Of which Phy and Econs are my horrors. I only happen to be luckier in Prelims for Econs (And it's not like I'm the 90th or 80th percentile or something) but I'm sure the B for Econs was kind of like when Lady Luck was with me. Actually, no she wasn't with me. If she was with me, I could have drawn the AC and MC pricing diagram correctly and scored at least another 3 marks. And I actually asked that very similar question during consultation. And whatever it is, I don't think it's enough. More things to dump into my head this weekend. And I must get my A for Phy. All the efforts must not go down the drain.
Kay time for mugging. Effort definitely isn't 100% yet. 90% probably, getting close, at least.
P.S. : (How could I have typed so much out within 15minutes, when I have to think and recall and stuff.)
20091101
♥ This is so wrong.
My mum is nagging me about using the computer. Ironically, the content is that she will not nag at me because its my own responsibility.
I know I know something's very wrong with me. I say I want to put in my best and stuff but I just cannot have that determination to study. And it's freaking hell 1 week from As. What is wrong with me seriously?
For this last one week,
- No more coming online and facebook-ing.
- No more watching unnecessary TV. (Actually I secretly think I am a TV addict. I really can watch TV the whole day even if the show isn't nice or something. What's more, there're a couple of nice shows coming up! And some repeated dramas. But why am I watching repeated dramas during the period of As?!)
- No more slacking and wasting time. (Even if I only have 15mins extra, I shall use it to memorize definitions.)
- No more drifting away (and never coming back) when studying.
- No more "I will wake up a bit later" and lazing around in bed and hence wasting my precious 1 hour. (Every hour is so important now.)
- No more "I will do that comprehension later". (Though I get irritated at the sight of GP.)
- No slacking around in school after/between/before consultations and I think I should bring my Comparative Advantage/Multiplier/Phy definitions/list of cheem words I've compiled for GP with me everyday, everywhere.
- No more wondering about what happens after As when I can't even be sure I can survive As.
- No more wasting time saying I want my straight As and not putting in effort to get it.
- No more "I think straight As are damn far from me" because I can do it.
- No more looking down on myself because malay dancers never fail.
I could go on saying a lot of no more, and as you can see, I've been procrastinating and refusing to accept the fact that As is just merely one week away and if I don't start studying now, I'm really dead! And I am not going to let my efforts go to waste like that. It has been such a torturous journey. I've done so much to turn my chemistry which was previously of U standard to what it was now. (Though my physics remains at E standard.)
All in all, I'll mug 12 hours 13 hours 14 hours, whatever it takes so to make up for the time I lost idling away for the last two / three weeks.
Seriously, what have I been doing?
I want to step into every examination hall feeling prepared and step out feeling confident that my A is secure.
The list of things I thought out for myself, I think I've yet to achieve anything yet.
URGH. BYE.
